YouTube Obliviousness

I had originally started this last batch of blog posts under the theme of 'Getting Old'.  My intention being that I would give my thoughts on a new trend, lament about how I didn't relate to it, and eventually come to the sad realization that this was definitive proof that I had, in fact, gotten old.  I thought the idea behind this would be an endless well of ideas and would have enough legs to fill this blog with content for months to come.

As it turns out, I was wrong.

Not in a bad way.  It's not that I've run out of things to say.  Rather, the topics that I came up with to discuss, no longer have any direct correlation with my advancing age.  I'm hoping that this means that maybe I'm not that old after all, but either way, the topics are now more like random musings than they are any sort of comparison between me and the younger generation.  And therefore, they don't really fit under the heading of 'Am I Getting Old?'

Depending on how you felt about the last few posts, this may be a good thing.  More of the same.  Although, if you weren't digging them, and you're longing for the days of Top 10 lists and dunk contest critiques, then perhaps this is not the good news that I was hoping it would be.  Regardless, the initial brainstorm for ideas yielded at least 16 topics for discussion, two of which have already been covered, and of the remaining ones, I would say at least half are of a usable, discussable nature.  And, although it often pains me to give him his ever-coveted shout outs on this here blog, I would be remiss if I didn't offer full credit to one Randy Sneep, for not only getting the ball rolling on the brainstorm in question, but also for providing ten of the initial ideas.

Even if his are the ones of such low quality that they are considered completely unusable.

Basically, that whole intro was just a really long way of saying that none of this ties in with age, so I've dropped that from the title of each post.  Which brings us to:

YouTube Recommendation Selectivity (or lack thereof).

This is one that I've struggled with for a while.  Randy can attest.  And I also feel the need to tread softly here, less the individuals that I'm singling out in my mind, happen to stumble across this.

I get shown a lot of YouTube videos that I could care less about.  And often,  I can tell right away that I'm not going to like them.  But how do you say that to the person standing next to you that told you to come watch this with such excitement in their voice.  Sure, if they just send a link via email, it's easy to do a quick "nah" and skip over it.  But if they're actually there in person, what do you do?

Well, from my vast experience in the field, it always boils down to one thing: length.  Yes, that's what she said.  Very good.  But more to the point, if a video is two minutes or under, unless it's completely uncomfortable (horrible sports injuries, puppies being tortured, your parent's sex tape, etc…) chances are that two minutes of anything is something you can suffer through. Two to five minutes is sort of a grey area, depending on your level of patience.  And anything over five minutes is when you have to start thinking of ways to get out of it.

But my point is, why should you need to 'get out of it' in the first place?  How can someone be so blind to the complete lack of entertainment value in their recommendation.  And more so, how could they take so little pride in that which they are recommending.  Again, a ten second clip is different from a tedious ten minute student film, so a certain amount of leniency can be given before you start to judge too harshly.  I'll also give a moderate pass to something that might be near and dear to someones heart, that I just don't have the same emotional attachment to.

But some things fall decidedly outside of that window of grace, and I simply just can't understand the mindset behind it.  Personally, I'm always very hesitant to recommend anything unless I stand fully and completely behind it.  I mean, how hard is it to take a good and objective look at something, and then determine whether someone else might enjoy it or not?  It's pretty much common sense that just because you liked something, that doesn't mean everyone else will, right?

Sure, there's a whole other breed of people that get off on showing people stuff that they'll hate.  Like tricking an innocent, church-going, choir boy into watching The Human Centipede, and then laughing as they watch him squirm.  But I'm not talking about those people.  I'm talking about the oblivious.  The people that honestly think you'll enjoy something, and then you sit there the whole time wondering "does this person even know me?" 

I like to think that I'm pretty good at making recommendations with this basic courtesy in mind. If I have even the slightest bit of doubt, I'm probably not sticking my neck out.  And if I am, then your ass is getting a lengthy disclaimer and ample opportunity to politely decline at any point.  I also like to think that I have enough awareness that I can tell, pretty quickly, whether or not the person is getting any enjoyment out of the recommendation.  And if they're not, I don't hesitate to pull the plug.

So, how is it then, that I've sat stone-faced through entire fifteen minute long videos, unable to come up with a decent excuse to leave without insulting the person, purposely giving off the "I'm not enjoying this at all" vibe, and yet have still not felt even a hint of regret from the other person when it's all said and done?  Are they really that oblivious?  I guess so, because a few days later, there's another video queued up, and this time, they're going to take it up a notch.  Not only am I going to watch the video, but they are going to watch me, watch the video.  Yes, this has happened.  Yes, it is as awkward as it sounds.  There's nothing worse than knowing that your every reaction is being observed and judged by another person.  Even if it's something that you're actually enjoying, it's still a very hard way to watch anything.  But doubly so if it's something that you're not enjoying at all.

Then there's that moment of dread, when you look down and catch a glimpse at how much time is left in the video, and realize that it's only just started and yet there's still another ten minutes of this crap to go.  Combine that with the feeling of awkwardness as the person is watching your face, rather than the screen, taking in every reaction and emotion that you display, and chances are, you just want it to end.

So, you're left with a choice:

Choice one: try to fake enjoyment.  Laugh at the jokes, even if they're not funny (especially if they're not funny), force a smile, and, if you're feeling particularly low on pride, you can even applaud a little bit - take that pandering up a notch, son.  I've done it (not the applauding part, but close enough) and it's rough.  You feel shame.  You hate yourself for being such a phony.  And worst of all, occasionally you get caught having the wrong 'fake' reaction to a scene.  Let me tell you, there are few things worse than laughing at something that wasn't meant to be funny.

Choice two: watch the video honestly.  If it's not funny, don't laugh.  If it doesn't make you feel good, don't smile.  This is as awkward as it gets, but you're banking on the hope that it's just as awkward for the other person, and maybe they'll be more selective with the types of things that they choose to share with you in the future.  I've tried this one a few times... with minimal success.

Choice three: grow a pair.  Just say what you're thinking.  If you know it's not up your alley, let your voice be heard.  You'll save yourself the trouble of having to actually see the video in question, but you will undoubtedly hurt the other person's feelings in the process.  I have nothing but respect and jealousy for those that do this, but alas, I simply don't have the heart to do it myself.

Before I leave it at that, I must of course, address my natural paranoia: that perhaps I have been too cavalier with video recommendations myself.  That right now, you're practically spitting out your coffee and yelling "Are you kidding me?  You show me the worst videos all the time!"  So, it is with this in mind, that I offer a heartfelt apology to anyone that has sat through a video recommendation of mine and thought "I would rather have done anything with those last seven minutes then watch that…"  My hope, especially with videos posted to this blog, is that if you're not digging it, you'll turn it off.  But if not, know that I am sorry, and that I understand your pain more than you could ever know.