Friday, November 19, 2010

Lady Crush #9: Natalie Portman

Best Known For:  The Star Wars prequels

I consider myself a child of the nineties.  But still, a lot of my early childhood was still carved out in the eighties.  I went through all the embarrassing fads and horrible music.  I was too young to understand why the C4 Corvette was a shell of the vehicle's former glory.  And above all else, I loved a good mindless action movie.

My tastes were pretty simple: wall-to-wall action, keep the tacked-on romantic subplot to a minimum (girls still had cooties), and blow a lot of shit up.  Basically, I had the movie-going appetite at 10 that Randy has today. 

Of course, unlike Randy, I eventually grew out of it.  Well, sort of.  I still enjoy a good action romp, only now I understand the difference between a good movie and a bad one.  I like a little character development, I appreciate if the plot makes sense, and I don't mind if things don't blow up as much if it makes the movie a little more feasible.  That's why when I go back and watch Commando, or Time Cop, or Die Hard 2, I kind of bury my face in my hands and wonder how I could have ever considered these to be 'good movies'.

I still enjoy them, don't get me wrong, but at least now I understand that as movies they're really quite terrible.  Terrible is not always a bad thing - entertainment has it's value - but at least I know to file a movie under 'guilty pleasure' rather than announcing it as the 'best movie ever', which I'm sure 12-year-old Travis did a few too many times for some down right embarrassing titles.  Basically, I've come to realize that the best movies aren't always your favourite and your favourite movies aren't always the best.

So when I go back and see a movie that I originally only liked because it was a good action flick, yet it actually holds up as a good movie?  Well, that warms the cockles of my heart.  It makes me feel like maybe I didn't have such shitty taste as a child.  And it helps to cement Lady Crushes in stone.

That's right, this long, drawn out, and altogether tedious intro actually has something to do with Lady Crushes.  In this case Natalie Portman, and in this instance because of a little movie called The Professional (or Léon, for all you hipster movie snobs out there…)


I remember thoroughly enjoying this flick as a preteen, but I mean, why wouldn't I?  A hitman, a killer opening sequence, an over-the-top villain and a big explosion at the end?  That was pretty much the stuff that I would have masturbated to, had my testicles descended by that point in my life.

(sorry)

But, watching it a few years later, once my tastes had become more discerning, it's actually a good flick.  And at the heart of it is a pretty stellar performance from a 13-year-old Natalie Portman.  She followed it up with a solid turn in Heat (another movie I was able to pleasantly discover as being actually quite good) and eventually became one of the few bright spots in what could only be considered a huge Star Wars Fan's biggest disappointment ever, The Phantom Menace.

Throw in a sense of humour and genuine smarts, and combine them with her flawless good looks, and well, she might be more than just a Lady Crush, she might actually be the perfect* woman.

Proof of Awesomeness:


*Wait, she's vegan?  Nevermind...
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