Character: John Matrix
Year: 1985
There are three things that you should know prior to reading this post: First of all, I plotted out the full order of this Top 10 list last Friday, based mostly on old memories, nostalgia and gut instinct (interestingly, I had come up with the idea for the list and decided that it would be my next blog project long before Arnold admitted to all the nanny stuff... the timing and sudden pop-culture relevance is pure coincidence, I swear). Second, I had not seen many of the films on this list in a very long time - Commando especially so (I might have actually been 12 or 13 the last time that I did). And third (and perhaps most importantly), I watched it again last night.
And I'm not going to lie. It was bad.
Sure, the last time I watched it I was young, and at that time, blissfully ignorant of any short-comings that a movie may have had, so long as there were guns and explosions. And even though it had been a while, I was still not entirely unaware of the movie's reputation: it's laughable plot, tacked on romance (of which most was cut from the final movie because it was so bad), and over-the-top violence. Heck, I had even read the three-part blog making fun of the movie a couple years ago (which might not have been worth mentioning, except for the fact that it was written by the film's director - part 2 and 3 here). So obviously I knew what to expect going in. But it still must be said: Commando is bad.
Which is why I wanted to watch it again all these years later. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't making a huge mistake by putting it on this list. But if it's so bad, and I had left myself enough time to change my mind before committing to it's spot on the list, how come you're still reading about it now?
Well, the thing is, being bad isn't always a bad thing. I hate to get too cliché, but it really is the perfect example of 'so bad that it's good'. I mean, the one-liners are flowing, any excuse to show off Arnold's impressive physique is utilized, bullets bounce right off of him as he mows down an entire army of bad guys, his character's name is ridiculous, the main villain looks and acts even more ridiculous, and at one point Arnold rips a seat right out of a car and gets in, for no other reason than... well, actually, I still haven't figured out why he did that.
Commando really is the perfect example of 80's action movie excess. Which pretty much makes it the perfect example of a Schwarzenegger movie as well. And if for no other reason than that, it has earned it's spot on this list.
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