The female equivalent of a man crush.

Ok, so there's 2 type of actresses in the world (not counting porn).  There's the Meryl Streeps and there's the Jessica Albas.  The Streeps are hired because they are good actors, and the Albas are hired because they are good to look at. I'm not trying to insult either, I'm just calling a spade a spade.  Meryl Streep can win Oscars, but her bikini pictures in Maxim magazine aren't going have issues flying off the shelf.  Alba probably couldn't win an Oscar if she created her own awards ceremony just for that sole purpose... but she can smile real pretty and flash some hurt puppy dog eyes at the camera that will make you fall in love with her (and hate Matthew McConaughey even more for only using her because she always makes the correct football predictions... or whatever passes for a rom-com plot these days).

A couple of years back, I created a list of what I considered to be the fifty hottest women in entertainment.  And while it may have set the feminist movement back 20 years, it was based, for the most part, on physical appearance.  Not that personality didn't factor into it somewhat, - a chick that seemed pretty cool in real life would often be placed higher than a notorious diva - but if I'm honest, at the end of the day it was really about looks.  Not my proudest accomplishment, but hey, I am just another typical guy when it comes down to it.  Needless to say, Meryl Streep did not make the cut.  Jessica Alba did.

Then there's the man crush.  This one is harder to explain because it has nothing to do with looks - although the term 'crush' often conjures up such an association.  But I mean, I could have a man crush on Steve Buscemi or Iggy Pop, and trust me, if I was going to switch to the other side, these would not be the men motivating the change.  It's more so that when I watch Reservoir Dogs or listen to I Wanna  Be Your Dog, I'm in awe of the awesomeness to which I'm baring witness, not thinking 'wow, check out the butt on Mr. Pink...'

So, in spite of this, and regardless of how often it's resulted in the conversation: 'so...  you're, like, gay now or something?' I've never shied away from making known my many, many man crushes.  A man crush is having the utmost respect and admiration for another dude.  It is being a fan of them because they're awesome.  But again, not necessarily because they're the best at what they do.  I can have a man crush on Jackie Chan, but he's never going to win an Oscar.  Whereas I do not, nor will I ever have a man crush on Sean Penn.  Sean Penn is a great actor, Jackie Chan is an awesome actor.  See the difference?

The whole point of this is that I'm conflicted about how to categorize women that I have a man crush on.  No, I don't have a man crush on Meryl Streep.  But what if I did?  Which list would she go on?  She can't be on a Top Fifty Hottest Ladies list.  She just can't.  If you didn't know who she was, you could put her in a room full of average looking women and not even notice her.  But it seems wrong to put her on a man crush list too. That's practically like saying she's homely, like a man.  Which, she's not either. 

So if I'm not actually talking about Ms. Streep, then who is this mysterious Platonic Lady Crush?  Err... crushes?

Well, that would be Tegan and Sara Quin.  Tegan a little bit more than Sara, but that's like saying you like Batman a little bit more than Spider-man.  They're both pretty awesome.  And, it's not to say that they're not attractive, but really, I couldn't in good conscious add them to my fifty hottest girls list.  Which is almost a compliment when you think about it.  Because I don't think I could marry Jessica Alba.  In real life she's probably insecure, in need of constant attention, and dare I say, a little vacant.  But I would marry either of the twins Quin in a heart beat.  If they weren't lesbians.

Which, always seems to lead to the assumption that this somehow has to do with any part of the reason that I adore them so.  That it must just be simple frat boy ogling because they're lesbians and identical twins.  No, it has nothing to do with that.  Simply put, they are awesome.  They write great music, have a sharp wit, and are genuinely hilarious.  I've often maintained that it's not hard for a lot of people in the business to create a persona that comes off as awesome, but is nothing more than a carefully crafted ploy by their handlers to sell records or movies, and in reality these personas probably couldn't be further from the truth.  But with Tegan and Sara, there's just no way they could fake it this well ...and for this long.

So, congratulations Tegan and Sara.  You have not only been added to, but are the inspiration for my list of Platonic Lady Crushes.

I have nothing to say... honestly

Today I'm going to put this blog to the test.

Because I am literally writing this with nothing to say. I mean, usually I'll have a topic or subject that I want to mention, or at least something to start ideas flowing. But today? Nothing.

So, I'm winging it. And, while my writing style is very stream-of-consciousness to begin with, today it's probably going to be more so than usual.

Now, how many words was that? I feel like a kid in high school, told to write a thousand word essay, counting each word, and adding in crap that doesn't even apply to the topic, just to push those 978 words over the threshold. But really, has a teacher ever actually counted the words on the page of an essay? That would add like, twice the time to the marking process. And I'm sure most teachers would just as soon get it done so that they can go watch Columbo, right? I mean, they probably just use it as a guideline to get something submitted that's an approximate length. I can't imagine they've ever failed a brilliant 958 word essay for not meeting the 1000 word criteria. That said... how many words am I at now?

198.

And that's not even counting the I'ms and I'lls as 2 words, which I'm pretty sure they technically are. Of course, this isn't high school. I can write as little or as much as I want. Or not at all. So really that was all just a giant waste of time and space. Stream-of-consciousness has failed us all.

What else? Still nothing? And I wonder why only one guy reads this...

Maybe I should get preachy. Because all this talk of Columbo has reminded me that the new season of Dexter just started up. And despite my best efforts, I have been unable to get a certain someone on board with this show. I'm not going to name names, because lord knows the last thing this giant ego needs is another shout out, but for the sake of my television sermon, let's just call him R. Sneep. No wait, that's too obvious. How about Randy S.

So, Randy S. is often looking for new shows to watch. Or 'get down on' as the kids would say. And in the past, I've introduced him/her to some of his/her now favorite shows: The Office, Chuck, and the brilliant Terminator Sarah Connor Chronicles. With a track record like that, and knowing that I have a good understanding of the 'just because I enjoy something, doesn't mean everyone else will' mindset (Example: I love Weeds. Especially the first couple of seasons. But I know that this individual would hate every minute of it. And as such, have never pushed it on him. Ditto for Californication.), you'd think he'd be more receptive to a suggestion that I have very passionately made to him on numerous occasions. And yet he/she hesitates.

And I understand the hesitation. This individual tries to pass themselves off as a wholesome person. Clean living. Morally infallible. So I understand how a show about a serial killer, as the protagonist no less, would raise some alarms. But here's where I'm rubbed a little wrong. I think if he saw a trailer for this show, as a movie, and it looked really good, he'd have no hesitation about downloading it (legally, of course...) and watching it. But because it's a tv show, for some reason it's not allowed to have cursing or questionable content. It's as though television is held to a different standard. But why do movies get a free pass on questionable content? This show has way less blood in it than 300. No worse profanity than Blood Diamond. Less nudity than... well, who doesn't like nudity?

I get the feeling that it's almost like, just because the main character, and the situations in the show, aren't the most morally sound, that somehow it makes a person less morally sound for having watched it. But I don't know. Isn't that the point of watching television? For the fantasy element of it. Just because I watch a serial killer, doesn't mean I condone serial killing. But I do like to take my mind off of the boringness of the day-to-day and watch some griping story telling. If all television was nothing but clean, wholesome situations, then it would be as boring as real life, and there'd be no point in watching it.

I guess what really bugs me is that the show has been pre-judged, without having been given a chance. I mean, I would fully understand if he watched the first 4 episodes, hated every minute of it and stopped watching. I could live with that. That would make sense. But that's barely even an Oscar-length movie. Is his time so precious that freeing up those 2 hours just can't be done? No, it could. Easily, I'm sure. Of course, with that said... even if someone told me Twilight was the best movie ever, I'd still be hard pressed to free up a couple hours to watch that vampire melodrama tripe (which I'm all-to-happy to have pre-judged). But that's all I'll say about that, because it kind of works as a valid counter-point to this whole argument.

I guess at the end of the day, I say all this assuming he still holds my opinion in high regard. The last show that I told him was a 'must-watch' was the entire run of Veronica Mars. And I know he downloaded it, but I've never heard a single word back from him on it. That means he either watched it, hated it, and lost all respect for my opinion, or else he hasn't watched it all. In which case, he really needs to get on that. Jeepers.

The White Stuff

Look everybody! Happy Travis is here!!!

Apparently I was a bit too negative in my last post - as pointed out by my lone reader. So, grab a glass full of sunshine and rainbows because you're invited to a dinner party at the gumdrop house on lollipop lane.

Actually, as sarcastic as that was, it's not that far from the truth. I am in a good mood. And not just because it's Friday and a long weekend. But because it's Friday, it's a long weekend, and there's snow on the ground. And I know what you're thinking:

'Wow, it takes a lot to put you in a good mood.'

Not true. I am a fairly jovial dude. Most of the time. But, like anyone, I have my pet peeves. And yesterday's peeve was people bitching about the snow. Granted, it is a tad early for the white stuff, but that's pretty small potatoes when you consider we barely had snow in December the last couple of years. And yet, if my Facebook account is any sort of litmus test for the entire population, people were crying foul like they had just seen that Susan Boyle chick voted off of whatever gay reality show she was on.

Look people, it's not like it's beach weather in October normally. So what? We skipped a few weeks of yellow leaves and brown grass. The important thing to remember here is that we're now a few weeks closer to ski season then we were on Wednesday. And if you still feel like pining about it, hey, I hear houses are really cheap in the States right now. You choose to live in Alberta, so suck it up, Princess.

And really, I should be the last person to like Winter. I drive a motorcycle. I have to pay for a full year's worth of insurance and only get 4 months of decent riding. If anyone's status should read: 'looked out the window this morning and wanted to put a gun in my mouth' it should be mine. Instead my status was... well, it was: 'So long, friends, I'm off to Europe for 5 weeks' but only because I never change the thing. But I assure you, if I did update it more than once a year, it would be something awesome. And it would be praising the snow.

That said...

I'm not going to lie. 7 months of winter does start to wear on a guy. Right now I'm very much in the honeymoon phase of the year's first snow fall. Talk to me again in April, and I doubt very much that I'll be singing the same praises.

In other words: enjoy Happy Travis while you still can.

So, it's come down to this...

I recently wrote a blog. It had a specific purpose, and was generally very good at maintaining that focus. It wasn't just me talking about going to the grocery store and spending half an hour choosing between Ketchup and Catsup. Or debating whether or not Yoda sounded more like Miss Piggy or Grover. It had it's logical place in this world, and on top of that, people seemed to enjoy it.

Prior to that, I had always hated blogs. The name 'blog' was stupid. Their self indulgent nature was stupid. And therefore the people that did them must be stupid as well. But all of that was based solely on perception, a stigma that was immediately placed on blogging the moment that the term was coined. If you blog, you must be so high and mighty on yourself that everything you do is worthy reading for the entire planet. But that's not really the case, is it? Blogging is just a byproduct of the age that we live in. People don't talk to each other, they text each other. They'd just as soon read about someone's life then have it told to them in person. This is the age of Twitter. An age where the things that happen to us and shape our lives can be summed up 140 characters at a time.

And then I started reading a few blogs. I read a sports blog, and a film blog, and a television blog. Heck, I even read a celebrity gossip blog. And I still do. And they entertain me. So, even though I hate the idea of blogs in theory, in reality, I enjoy them. And therefore even though I think the idea of me writing a blog is stupid, here I am, trying to prove that misconception wrong as well.

But I'm not going to lie, this is stupid. I don't have anything of merit to say. And I sure as heck don't have anything of interest to say. But that's not the point, is it? I enjoy writing. I always have, and I probably always will. Up until now, that writing has been relegated to Microsoft Word documents, rarely ever to be read by anyone but myself. But, if my last blog is any indication, apparently people like what I have to say. And even when they don't like what I say, they at least like how I say it. So if I enjoy writing it, and at least one person enjoys reading it, then really, what harm is there in throwing it against the wall and seeing if it sticks?

And yet I hesitate. I'm not so much a modest dude, as I am lacking in conviction. Modesty to me, suggests that someone is really good at something, but chooses not to be boastful about it. I'm not really sure that I'm good at anything. Competent, maybe. Adequate, sure. But good? Honestly, nothing comes to mind. The accolades given to my last blog, to me, just make me wonder if it was a fluke. That maybe I lucked out in stringing a few interesting stories together. And such thoughts heavily shake my confidence in this blog. I don't have a lot of faith that it will be any good. Or very funny. Or at all rewarding to read. But I had one very strong supporter campaign for it. And that's a good enough reason for me to give it a try.

So, in other words, if this sucks horribly, blame Randy.