The female equivalent of a man crush.

Ok, so there's 2 type of actresses in the world (not counting porn).  There's the Meryl Streeps and there's the Jessica Albas.  The Streeps are hired because they are good actors, and the Albas are hired because they are good to look at. I'm not trying to insult either, I'm just calling a spade a spade.  Meryl Streep can win Oscars, but her bikini pictures in Maxim magazine aren't going have issues flying off the shelf.  Alba probably couldn't win an Oscar if she created her own awards ceremony just for that sole purpose... but she can smile real pretty and flash some hurt puppy dog eyes at the camera that will make you fall in love with her (and hate Matthew McConaughey even more for only using her because she always makes the correct football predictions... or whatever passes for a rom-com plot these days).

A couple of years back, I created a list of what I considered to be the fifty hottest women in entertainment.  And while it may have set the feminist movement back 20 years, it was based, for the most part, on physical appearance.  Not that personality didn't factor into it somewhat, - a chick that seemed pretty cool in real life would often be placed higher than a notorious diva - but if I'm honest, at the end of the day it was really about looks.  Not my proudest accomplishment, but hey, I am just another typical guy when it comes down to it.  Needless to say, Meryl Streep did not make the cut.  Jessica Alba did.

Then there's the man crush.  This one is harder to explain because it has nothing to do with looks - although the term 'crush' often conjures up such an association.  But I mean, I could have a man crush on Steve Buscemi or Iggy Pop, and trust me, if I was going to switch to the other side, these would not be the men motivating the change.  It's more so that when I watch Reservoir Dogs or listen to I Wanna  Be Your Dog, I'm in awe of the awesomeness to which I'm baring witness, not thinking 'wow, check out the butt on Mr. Pink...'

So, in spite of this, and regardless of how often it's resulted in the conversation: 'so...  you're, like, gay now or something?' I've never shied away from making known my many, many man crushes.  A man crush is having the utmost respect and admiration for another dude.  It is being a fan of them because they're awesome.  But again, not necessarily because they're the best at what they do.  I can have a man crush on Jackie Chan, but he's never going to win an Oscar.  Whereas I do not, nor will I ever have a man crush on Sean Penn.  Sean Penn is a great actor, Jackie Chan is an awesome actor.  See the difference?

The whole point of this is that I'm conflicted about how to categorize women that I have a man crush on.  No, I don't have a man crush on Meryl Streep.  But what if I did?  Which list would she go on?  She can't be on a Top Fifty Hottest Ladies list.  She just can't.  If you didn't know who she was, you could put her in a room full of average looking women and not even notice her.  But it seems wrong to put her on a man crush list too. That's practically like saying she's homely, like a man.  Which, she's not either. 

So if I'm not actually talking about Ms. Streep, then who is this mysterious Platonic Lady Crush?  Err... crushes?

Well, that would be Tegan and Sara Quin.  Tegan a little bit more than Sara, but that's like saying you like Batman a little bit more than Spider-man.  They're both pretty awesome.  And, it's not to say that they're not attractive, but really, I couldn't in good conscious add them to my fifty hottest girls list.  Which is almost a compliment when you think about it.  Because I don't think I could marry Jessica Alba.  In real life she's probably insecure, in need of constant attention, and dare I say, a little vacant.  But I would marry either of the twins Quin in a heart beat.  If they weren't lesbians.

Which, always seems to lead to the assumption that this somehow has to do with any part of the reason that I adore them so.  That it must just be simple frat boy ogling because they're lesbians and identical twins.  No, it has nothing to do with that.  Simply put, they are awesome.  They write great music, have a sharp wit, and are genuinely hilarious.  I've often maintained that it's not hard for a lot of people in the business to create a persona that comes off as awesome, but is nothing more than a carefully crafted ploy by their handlers to sell records or movies, and in reality these personas probably couldn't be further from the truth.  But with Tegan and Sara, there's just no way they could fake it this well ...and for this long.

So, congratulations Tegan and Sara.  You have not only been added to, but are the inspiration for my list of Platonic Lady Crushes.